I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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