Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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