I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We just shotgunned beers for America
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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