i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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