go do what you do best...puke behind churches
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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