Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
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My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
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why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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