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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.

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• (716): View more from New York

  he smelled like listerine and beef tacos

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  Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?

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• (585): View more from New York

  My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.

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  Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (513): View more from Ohio

  Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.

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• (516): View more from New York

  She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore

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