How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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