Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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