I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize