Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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