Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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