Already got asked if we're dating
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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