Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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