I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
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having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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