all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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