Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
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I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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