its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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