Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Your dad touched me again.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize