I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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