so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
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Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
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At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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