After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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