Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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