dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
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My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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