So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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