I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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