Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize