trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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