bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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