The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i believe in u and ur pee
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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