"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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