My first STD was from a foam party
I want to make a zoo with you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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