Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize