so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
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During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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