Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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