just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I didn't notice because vodka
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
pray to the hookup gods
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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