dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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