i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize