quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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