So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
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If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize