Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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