looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
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Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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