Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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