Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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