soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize