my phone needs a breathalizer
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize