The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize