carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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