Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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