Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
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from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
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We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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