i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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